I'm jealous of your bromance
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
