Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
