fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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