i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
