I think I am morally bankrupt
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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