TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
