So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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