Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
