and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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