Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
