guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
