i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
