Umm I'm too high to move.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
