dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize