I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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