my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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