it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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