No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
