So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
