I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Sober January is a disaster.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
