Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
