Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
