That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
