there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
