So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
