...so i touched it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Can you bring me the toilet please
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
