it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
