I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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