Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
