if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
