I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I am mentally ready for anal.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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