Come see our sink grown plant.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
