You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
