i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize