mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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