Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
