She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
