why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
