Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
