well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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