oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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