physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
