dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
