i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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