I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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