honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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