He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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