smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
