yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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