My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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