he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I got inside last night via doggy door
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
