I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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