Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
