Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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