I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
